


Still There

by CaptainCabinets



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Happy Ending, One Shot, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21872032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainCabinets/pseuds/CaptainCabinets
Summary: He disappeared.But she could still feel him.He was within her, all around her.He was there, but gone.And she didn’t know what that meant, but knew that she would spend the rest of her life trying to find out.To find him.But it doesn’t take the rest of her life. It takes a trip to Tatooine.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 26
Kudos: 229





	Still There

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker.

She didn’t let herself think about him when she returned to her friends. It hurt too much. And it hurt even more that she couldn’t tell anyone how much she was hurting. And how he was still there, burning in the back of her brain like an incredible bright light. How his presence was still stifling, surrounding her from the moment she left Exegol. But her friends, they wouldn’t understand. After all they had been through, after everything Kylo Ren had done to them...she understands why they wouldn't understand their connection. And so she had to leave them—just for a little while—to sort herself out. Tatooine, she thought, would be the appropriate place to go.

She buries Luke and Leia’s lightsabers—laying them to rest, in a way. Then she putters around Luke’s old hut, doing a fair bit of cleaning, and even moves a few things in. Just a few things, though, this is only temporary. The desert isn't for her anymore. But she has to keep herself busy or she’ll go mad. She’s not quite ready to think about him just yet.

By the time night begins to rear its dark head, there’s not much more she can do in the house. So, she and BB-8 head out to watch the twin suns descend into the horizon. After a while, she sends BB back to the hut, needing a moment for herself.

She closes her eyes.

_Ben._ A hesitant reach into the Force to find him. To let him know she remembers. 

He really was everything she knew he could be. He was kind, and gentle, and brave. He helped save the galaxy, and no one knows. He returned to himself, to Ben Solo, but never got the chance to truly live as he should have.

_It’s alright,_ she hears his voice in her head. And then she’s crying—fat tears fighting their way out of her eyes.

Then she feels a hand on her cheek. A real, solid hand. And then a thumb swipes her tears away. She lets her head rest into the hand, not ready to open her eyes yet.

“I said, it’s alright, Rey.” This time, the voice is decidedly _not_ in her head.

And when she opens her eyes, he’s there. Standing in front of her, looking just as he did before she saw him disappear.

“Are you real?” She chokes out, hazel eyes wide with shock.

“Honestly? I don’t know. Do I feel real?” He continues to caresses her cheek. Has a stupid smirk on his face, and Gods, if she weren’t so happy, and _so bloody confused,_ she might try to slap it off.

She reaches a hesitant, shaking hand out to meet his chest. Yes, he’s solid. He’s in front of her. He’s _here._ She has to back away, overwhelmed. “Yes. Yes, you feel real.” She breathes out, shakily.

“How?” She’s shaking her head. “How?” She repeats, a bit louder this time.

“I don’t know.” He has the absolute _gall_ to just shrug at her.

“I saw you…I saw you die. You were there, and then you were gone!”

“No one is ever really gone, Rey.” He steps closer to her, but she keeps the distance, trying to get a grasp on the situation.

“But—“

“Rey. The Force can’t always be explained. But our bond…I think it has something to do with this. I didn’t die. I just…ascended.”

Tears start streaming down her face again. Ben attempts to step closer once more, but not too close. She can sense his hesitance through the bond. He finally had her back, he didn't want to scare her off again. Little does he know he wouldn't. He _couldn't._ Never again.

“I didn’t feel it. You leaving, that is. I didn’t feel it in the way I felt it with Luke and your mother. I thought it would hurt more. I thought I would feel alone, but I just didn’t. You were there, but you weren’t. I was so confused…what did it feel like for you?”

“It felt...right. Like…like happiness. Like I was loved. Like I was complete. Like I was _good._ ” He’s shaking his head, almost as if he can’t believe that this is who he is now.

“You _are_ good, Ben. You—” She wants to tell him how wonderful he is. How grateful she is. She wants to tell him _everything._

“I saw my mother,” he interrupts her, as if he doesn’t quite want to talk about what happened just yet.

“Oh? What did she say?”

“She called me an _idiot boy,_ ” he chuckles. “But then she hugged me. It's been years since she hugged me.”

Yes, that sounds like Leia, and Rey can’t help but laugh. And Ben grins at her like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.

“I felt her forgiveness. I felt her love…and then…then I heard you. I heard you say my name, and then I was here.”

“Then you were here,” she whispers, disbelief still at the edge of her tone. Then she inches closer to him, closing the gap. She cradles his face, just as she did after he brought her back, and gives him a tentative peck on the lips. Just a gentle test, to see if, after everything, _that_ was still the same.

But he’s hungry—and of course he is, he did just basically come back from the dead, after all—and he pulls her into his arms and deepens the kiss.

_He’s alive. He’s alive. He’s alive._ Like a mantra, she repeats to herself. It’s all she can think as his lips work over hers.

_I’m alive._ He confirms through their bond.

_I’m not alone._

_You’re not alone._

She breaks the kiss and looks up into his teary eyes. His soulful, beautiful eyes—once filled with so much pain and hatred—are now full of light. They are full of _hope._ And she hopes he can see the hope in hers too.

Rey looks over his shoulder to see the second sun finally disappearing over the horizon, casting them into the darkness of night. She then turns around, breaking their embrace, to spot the light emanating from the domed house in the distance.

“Would you…would you like to come in for some tea?” She asks.

She holds her hand out to him. His eyes flip down to look at it, then back up to meet her own.

He smiles at her—wide and toothy—and takes it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is my first time publishing a fanfiction. I saw TROS last night, as I'm sure many of you did, and came home and just started writing because I didn't know what else to do. I've never felt the need to publish anything before, and I don't think this is particularly great (it was written quickly, and obviously un-beta'd), and I will probably frequently come back and change little things that bug me, BUT I found it cathartic and maybe someone else will too.


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